Written by Kassandra Mayo, Conceive Nebraska Board Member
Boy meets Girl. They fall in love. They get married. They begin their All-American careers as an Electrician and Teacher. They envision owning an acreage one day with a simple farm house, but make do with a tiny two-bedroom house in the city. They get a dog and name her Maddie. They dream of having nine children. And there it is…just a dream…a dream with an ending that never changes-no matter how hard they try. And try they did, for ten years they both endured testing, operations, trial medications, shots, therapy, resting. Sometimes their need to be a family of three shook them to their core and most often found themselves exhausted after hours of desperate praying and crying themselves to sleep.
This is our story. One that we feel the need to share to help others know they’re not alone, that they can talk about where they are on the journey to parenthood, and not feel judged. While our story winds up with a happy ending of a beautiful babe conceived from the miracle of IVF, we know we our trials are not over yet as we once again begin the process of trying. This why we are so thankful to have found Conceive Nebraska. In a very short time, we have found ourselves embraced into a community of strangers that become fast friends through the tie of infertility. By sharing our stories with each other, we can provide a safe place for others to not feel alone. A place to encourage each other to be bold in changing the conversation and the way our culture views individuals struggling to conceive. We have the opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives and make sure that if our story doesn’t come out the way we want it, at least there’s a chapter on how we lived and loved through it. Please visit Conceive Nebraska’s website for more information: http://conceivenebraska.org/
This was written by Susan Wilkinson, mother of Nikki Csipkes, who is the secretary for Conceive Nebraska and went through four years of unexplained infertility.
Time after time…pain loss frustration sadness
You are a Mom – you can’t fix it
That is what nice moms do…
48 (months ) of rejects as rough as a death or an incurable disease
How much can a person endure?
It’s your little girl
You pray yet can’t say too much
You pray more…
The physical and mental pain
You worry about the costs – the money saved and spent
The what ifs…
It’s your little girl and you can’t help / make it better
You hope, you stay by her side
go to doctors appointments…
Getting no concrete answers as to why..or why not
The long and winding road–
Your heart is torn
Others don’t quite get it; most cannot make you feel better either
But you keep the dream alive for yourself- for her
And then one day you get a call
Something has worked❤ you pray a little more…
Will this be for real?
You wait more- patience galore!
And finally the journey ends when your baby says” I’m pregnant ” – with twins!!💕
You rejoice, thank God and start the second leg of the “trip”– the Pregnancy
And hope all goes well.. and thankfully it does!
You are blessed with two great gifts that change you forever– your heart -your soul- your life
As you embark on your new journey as Grandma– the best job ever!
June 29 2015
This was written by Scott Reinhardt, Conceive Nebraska board member. It originally appeared on momaha.com on April 23, 2014.
In 2010 National Infertility Awareness Week became a federally recognized health observance by the Department of Health and Human Services. According to the Center for Disease Control, Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples of childbearing age. Most suffer in silence. My wife and I are sharing our story during National Infertility Awareness week to help those suffering and those who know someone suffering to better understand what they may be going through.
Our story begins not unlike many other married couples. We met, fell in love, married, bought a house and planned on filling it with children. With my wife suffering from endometriosis we knew conceiving children could be difficult and may take some time. After one year of trying we were accepting of the fact that we needed help in getting pregnant. My wife sought the help of her OB, she was prescribed Clomid, an ovulation inducing drug. After three months, the OB suggested I get tested as well. We discovered that not only did my wife have reproductive issues leading to our infertility, but I as well had my own issues that did not help. We were told to seek treatment from a Reproductive Endocrinologist. The RE confirmed my test results. We were the 1% suffering from dual factor infertility. Some would say we were meant for each other. Discovering that we both were affected by infertility drew us closer as a couple and made us both resolve to beat this together.
It is both my wife’s and my mentality to go into something fully aware. We both did research on our disease and discovered that there were other couples like us, in Omaha, going through the struggles of infertility. We were blessed to find they met every week as a support group, it was free and facilitated by a local group of therapist’s at Omaha Integrative Care who are trained in infertility counseling. It was through this local support group, that my wife and I were able to come to grips with our infertility and find the strength to process the emotions and come out in the end stronger from our struggles. As we went through our own journey and losses we were able to continue in the support group and welcome and encourage new couples as they began their own infertility journey.
Through it all, three failed IVF cycles along with two years of unsuccessful assisted cycles prior to that, in October of 2012 my wife gave birth to our first baby, a girl, we named Delilah. It is our hope by briefly telling our story and sharing our success that we can help even one couple struggling with infertility gain awareness and realize they are not alone and do not have to suffer through this silently. Omaha has a number of resources available to couples who are experiencing the same level of emotions that you may be going through. We encourage you talk to your doctor, seek out a support group or individual counseling to help deal with and understand the stress, anxiety and grief associated with this disease. If you are a friend or family member of a loved one suffering from infertility we encourage you to research, so that you can understand as well. Knowing some of the facts and myths associated with infertility. Like “relaxing” does not make infertility go away, neither will adopting a baby. We have all heard the story about someone who became pregnant shortly after adopting
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